A Daughter's Tribute to her Mother

What can I really say...Other than I miss her so much. The world lost a beautiful caring woman on the 6th of July 2008 and ever since then life hasn't been so pleasant. 

My mother was my best friend, one that in my mind wouldn't go anywhere. She was going to be there for me whenever, days that I felt happy and days when I felt my worst. Today is a day that I feel completely rubbish and she's not here. If you don't know me, then you don't know what happened. My mum died in a car accident and my whole world turned upside down from there. I have decided to write this post to raise awareness of how difficult it is to be left without a mothers love. 

My brother at the age of 12 saw her pass away, and I think he's one of the strongest people I know. I felt guilty to show what I thought was weakness, by grieving because in my mind all I wanted was to be strong for my dad and my brother and hold together my family, that was just falling apart no matter what I did. My dad is pretty old school, the type of dad that was a workaholic and still is, my mum spent the most time with us and when she was gone my dad had to take the role of both parents and deal with two kids that were out of control. I felt so sorry seeing my dad cope with it all, knowing that he's lost his life partner and he's growing old alone. 

How did I feel and how do I feel now? 

At the time I thought I was fine.. I thought I could try and be the "woman"of the house and that wasn't me because at the end of the day I was still sixteen, growing up too fast to please others. At that age you grow up with your mum guiding you throughout life and I didn't have that. I grew up with a state of confusion, not knowing how to deal with things. My friends have always been there for me and am so grateful for knowing every single one of them, but I need more, I need her. 

The way I dealt with it, was that it wasn't real, that she was going to come back to me, come back from Egypt and it was all some weird lie or something. But now in my 20's I've come to the realisation that I will never get her cuddles again. However I've always wanted to make her proud and one thing she used to preach about constantly was education. For me to go to uni and get my degree and be a smart woman like herself! So I did just that, I went to uni, tried to bury my head in books and be that daughter she's always wanted. But now coming to an end to my masters I feel like what now? I just want to make her proud but for some reason I feel like I've disappointed her. 

Last year was a tough year, I went through a lot and realised that I developed depression and anxiety, I dealt with it in the worst type of way by pushing away friends that loved me. I just want them to know that I regret it all.. And I appreciate every one of them. Til this day I have times when I do switch off and ghost, it's a front to cover up the way I feel by not explaining why am being this way. 

I just want people who have lost their mum to know that no matter how alone you feel, there are people around that care.. Don't push away friends and family, that's not the way to cope with it. Your allowed to grief no matter what situation you are in afterwards. 

If my mum was here now, she would probably laugh at me for being so sensitive. She was a woman who was deeply loved by everyone that met her, to the point that when she passed away three mosques full of people prayed for her. She is my role model and a queen in my eyes and I haven't forgotten anything about her and her beautiful soul. 

   

Spring/ Summer 2014 shoot

For those of you that don't know already, I am a fashion design student and am graduating this year. I  just wanted to show my final dresses that i
I made for my collection, the theme is inspired by Egypt, I thought hard on whether or not I should consider to do a theme on Egypt, because i am originally from there, but i thought I should get back to my roots and show people who I am through my designs!

keep it CURLY... keep it sweet...

Battling with my hair to stay straight throughout the day was a nightmare, I used to dred going out in the rain, and oh my god if its hot, humidity would just destroy the long hours of hard work I put in to straighten my puffy afro. So I gave up...

Honestly it was the best thing I have ever done, not only did it allow my hair to become healither it made me experiment with products to maintain my hair and wear it naturally in the best ever form i could get!

See I think we always concentrate on the things we don't have and try and change ourselves, but why do we do this? we girls should embrace what we have and try to improve our assets in a way that stays true to yourself.

I wish i knew how to deal with my hair when i was younger, i wouldn't of went through all the stresses of keeping it straight, straightening my hair constantly, just to look a certain way, not worrying that all this heat would just ruin it in the process. I had to come to the realisation that I have curly hair, that CURLY equals ME...

I have been wearing my hair naturally curly now for about four years, and I love my curls, dont get me wrong I do straighten my hair once every couple of months just for a change, but am done with obsessing with it. learning how to take care of my hair was a process and to me, just watching youtube videos and learning from people with similar hair like mine how they cope with their hair helped me out alot!

So I decided I would make my own video on it, and hopefully I would rescue someone from themselves, give them confidence to do so and  help them deal with their curly hair!

youtube: valentines makeup tutorial with naked 3!

Ok, so I love the colours in my naked 3 pallette, its beautiful, the rose gold theme to it is unique and gives the perfect girly look, thats excatly why i used it in my tutorial! This pallette sums up valentines day...

I would really appreciate it if you comment, like and subscribe! and i hope you enjoy my tutorial! 

Thank you xx 

starting youtube.. my first video

For 2014 I wanted to challenge myself and put myself out there to people, I pulled off enough courage to make a video and actually POST IT.

Obsessed with watching makeup/fashion tutorials, hauls and collections, I started to get inspired and wanted badly to help people and show people my love for beauty items and fashion. 

If you do get a chance to see this I would really appreciate it if you like, comment and subscribe as I want to achieve an amazing youtube channel and start my journey. 

ANY feedback is good feedback for me to improve myself, I am determined to succeed! 

Thank you for reading,

jasmine x 

review and thoughts- Desio contact lenses

Sorry for the neglect but I've been having a few deadlines at uni, but am back and i want to share with you my thoughts on my new contact lenses from Desio.

ok so you have never heard of Desio before? let me tell you they are known to be the rolls royce of contact lenses made in italy, they have created a line of beautiful coloured contact lenses for BOTH men and women. they can be both non prescription and prescription and are specifically made for people with dark eyes. I purchased the colour 'Forest green' because I have always wanted to see whether that colour would suit me. They cost about thirty nine euros which is approximately thirty three pounds fifty. 

 The positives:

 Ok so it came in a rose gold box packaging, neatly presented. with a booklet of all the colours they have. I felt like the contact lenses were more comfortable then ones that i have tried in the past, when wearing it for 8 hours I felt like my eyes were not itchy in the slightest. I didn't have any blurred vision when wearing it and the colour was phenomenal, a beautiful rich deep green colour. shipping and delivery is free also. 

Negatives:

So it doesn't come with a contact lenses case, you have to buy it from elsewhere because they don't even sell it on their website. They also don't sell contact lense solution, which is also disappointing. Delivery takes about 2-3 weeks which you can't really complain about because it is free. 

Before:

brown eyes (natural eye colour)

After:

Desio contact lenses - forest green

Desio contact lenses - forest green

All in all am happy with these contact lenses and I would like to purchase "dessert dream" next. They are worth the money and i love the beautiful deep green colour.

you can get these from the website at:

http://www.desiolens.com/

I hope you liked this post
and Thanks for reading

Jasmine xx

Comparison & Review: Nars, Dior and Mac foundations

So today I wanted to make a review about these three foundations and compare them. Give you my opinion of them and talk about which one worked best for me. I will be talking about the coverage they give and whether or not i think they are worth it for the prices they are retailed for. 

Mac Matchmaster

So this foundation is a medium buildable coverage, it is ment to be a moisturizing demi-matte finish, with an SPF 15. Honestly this foundation glides on beautifully on the skin especially if your skin is edging onto the dry side. it gives my skin a glowy look and the coverage is buildable if you keep applying more on the areas you would most likely to cover. The demi-matte finish gives a beautiful natural finish and the foundation lasts you all day, it retails at twenty seven pounds and its a great investment as it lasts a long time. I've had mine for less than a year and its still going strong. For me compared to the other two the colour is more yellow based which matches me perfect in the summer but doesn't match my winter skin when am more paler. All in all i would give it a thumbs up as i don't find it drying to my skin in the slightest and the look it gives me is flawless. 

Diorskin Forever Fluid Foundation

Dior claim that this foundation should compliment all skin types, its hydrating and that it has a satin finish , however i didn't find it moisturizing and personally i didn't feel like it glided onto my skin like my nars and mac do. However I do find that it lasts all day on my skin and it does cover all my imperfections. It has a Factor 25 SPF and the bottle does last as you don't need that much for it to cover when you apply it to your skin. This foundation is retailed at thirty two pounds and it was brought from house of fraser. For the price it gives, i don't see anything that luxurious about it but the bottle it comes in and the name. 

Nar's Sheer Glow 

Hand on my heart this is my favourite foundation, it matches my skin beautifully and the coverage is medium but also buildable. The foundation is for people who have normal, dry and normal to dry skin types which is perfect for me. It gives a beautiful natural finish and it allows my skin to breath. It covers my imperfections really well and gives me a glow, My skin looks brighter and more radiant. Although this foundation doesn't have an SPF it is definatly worth the price at thirty pounds, fifty. Apparently it contains powerful anti-oxidants to protect against damaging free radicals and turmeric extract to improve skins radiance and tone. It is also fragrance free which for some people is a plus. 

I hope I have helped you out with picking your next foundation, let me know your opinions on these foundation if you have tried any of them.

thanks for reading 

Jasmine x